S1 E13- Your Female Brain on Wealth, Abundance, and Money with Dr. Anita M Jackson
In this episode, Jess talks to Dr. Anita M Jackson who is the founder and CEO of Power HER Success Alliance and AMJ Productions and Publications, about the role of guilt and shame in limiting individuals' potential to achieve financial success. She explains how repetitive thoughts and behaviors create neurological pathways that affect the brain's energy, leading to blocks and resistance when trying to make a change. Dr. Jackson also emphasizes the importance of trusting one's intuition and making decisions based on personal worth rather than behavior. She encourages listeners to break negative patterns, forgive themselves for past mistakes, and make sound financial decisions to achieve their goals.
Highlights:
-Patterns can both limit and enable our success
-Making powerful decisions can be transformative
-Intentional effort can lead to positive changes in your financial situation
Contact our guest:
https://linktr.ee/DrAnitaMJackson
https://unlimitedwomanalliance.influencersoft.com/BecomingAnUnlimitedWoman
Email: dranita@dranitamjackson.com
Transcript:
Jessica Weaver 0:02
Hello money queens, hello, listeners. Welcome to Women Behind the Millions. I'm Jessica Weaver, your host. And today I'm very excited because we have Dr. Anita Jackson with us. She is a founder and CEO of power her success Alliance and A M J Productions publications, she is a number one best selling author of several books, former senior executive producer for multiple online TV shows, major online networks, publisher of two internationally awarded magazines, and a former Marriage and Family Therapist. So this is going to be juicy. We're going to talk about today, the brain, especially the female brain when it comes to wealth, abundance and money. So thank you so much, Dr. Anita for being on here with us today.
Dr. Anita M Jackson 0:51
Hi, Jessica. Oh, I'm so honored to be here and excited to have this conversation with you, as we inspire women, with your audience specifically, around the world what it means to be a wealthy woman. So I love it.
Jessica Weaver 1:03
Oh, beautifully said yes, that's what we are about. That is our mission here. We got to get these ladies, women everywhere the tools, the education, but just having conversations that elevate our thoughts, elevate our stories, our beliefs, is the first step. It's so important. So we need to have people like you on here. What got you into thinking about the brain when it comes to money, prosperity, all of those good things?
Dr. Anita M Jackson 1:29
Great question. Actually so my background, as you said earlier on, is starting off about 32 years of experience in human development, and business development. So I have a background as a marriage and family therapist and my doctorate in Organizational Psychology. So that's the business side. And along my journey, my academic career and my professional career, I have been very, very blessed to be trained and mentored by very successful individuals. And I lucked out in having three professors who were actual neurologists as well as psychologists so they're the ones who turned, and that's rare, because typically, most neurologists are on the medical side, these three, they were all men, chose to actually have the medical side and the psychological side because they wanted to have an understanding of the two. And so I was very fascinated when they were teaching class and talking about how the brain works. And truly, I sometimes think I should have been a neurologist myself, go back to school, but then when you do the research to try to find out, you know, how long would it take, and they told me, it's gonna take me another eight years, I'm like, I'm out. I'm done.
Jessica Weaver 2:35
I'm fascinated by it, but...
Dr. Anita M Jackson 2:38
Not that much. And then the price point of it was a little intense, just as well. So I'm like, Yeah, and that's really how I went into the organizational psychology side. It's like, that's easier, that's cheaper, and I can get it done faster. So let's do it. So that's direction I went in. So as the professors were teaching me about the brain, it helped me understand just how our chemicals run through our body, how energy runs through our body, how our brain processes information, how trauma, more specifically, or setbacks or disappointments, how that affects the brain just as well. And so over the years and working with 1000s of individuals, the area that I noticed people struggling the most, women specifically, was in the area of their own self worth. And that affected how they allowed themselves to make money. And I actually started to see that in my own life, I started to see that I was hitting a limit, if you will, a ceiling. I couldn't break it. Because there was some patterns of thinking and awarenesses that were slowly and unconsciously holding me back from going into my next level.
Jessica Weaver 3:46
Oh, that's fascinating. I think we can all we all know a time or maybe we're in it right now. It feels like an invisible wall is up. And we just can't push through that invisible wall. What's it going to take? And what did you find was happening? How would it keep happening, we're stuck in these patterns. We're stuck in that pattern of how much we can earn, how many people and it's almost feels like we're in this tunnel vision. We literally are only seeing opportunities that were true to that pattern.
Dr. Anita M Jackson 4:18
Okay, so here's what you need to know about the brain. The brain has three primary focuses. One is to keep you safe. Two is to conserve energy. And three is to actually make sure that you're prospering or you're moving, you're thriving. That's the word I'm looking for. You're thriving at the same time. So if it feels like anything you're focusing on doesn't meet those three areas. It will shut down to conserve energy, it will shut off to prevent you from doing something that doesn't keep you safe. So for example, let's say You have been making $50,000 for the past 10 years, and all of a sudden you decide, I want to break into my six figure. So you're going from $50,000 a year to $100,000, another $50,000. Well, if you haven't really intentionally, like worked with you, Jessica, work with a financial planner, or a person who can actually help you create this strategy for it, the brain doesn't think you know what to do to actually help you feel safe. So it will intentionally, cause you to shut down, block things so that you don't do something it doesn't think is going to keep you safe. So right now, it doesn't believe that getting another $50,000 is going to help you feel safe, even though you're looking at it intellectually. It's saying, Nope, nope, nope, because you don't know how to do this, you're not giving me the actual information that makes me feel safe, that you're going to be safe, and it's taking so much energy for you to figure this out. And that means you're trying to figure it out and that's not working, that's too much energy to keep you alive. Therefore, you're not feeling safe. I'm using too much energy. And I don't think you're gonna thrive, shut down. And that's where the blocks come in.
Jessica Weaver 6:19
Wow, It's like a short circuit.
Dr. Anita M Jackson 6:22
Yeah, thats exactly what happens. It shuts off.
Jessica Weaver 6:28
You bring up so many points that I want to talk on it, I feel like we need to reiterate this. And this is something that the listeners you should listen to, repeatedly, because it's going to slowly sink in more and more, or you're gonna catch yourself at that exact short circuit. I feel and now it makes sense. I almost feel like you're in this hangover. Right? You've grown too much. And now your body is it wants to throw up in the toilet. Intellectually you know this is where you're supposed to be, but physically, as you said that it's trying to keep us safe. And it's taking up too much energy, and we feel like a puddle on the ground.
Dr. Anita M Jackson 7:06
I'll tell you why it's so interesting too because COVID did me a favor, as horrible as it has been, it has also done me a favor. And what I mean by that is what I just explained to you was kind of my journey on different financial perspectives. So 2020, doing really well before the pandemic hit, speaking was really how I got most of my clients. So I'm out there going to different events speaking, and then all of a sudden, everything shut down. Right. So there's no speaking opportunities, which means I don't have another stream of money coming in. And sometimes as much as you think you're doing things right financially, if you don't have the background, like you, Jessica, people don't really have a backup plan for their finances, they just typically don't have a savings account. They don't have any investments accounts, they don't have any assets in place, my CPA used to say this to me over and over again, I used to hate it when he said it. Anita, you make great money, but you have nothing to show for it. Oh, I don't need anything because you think you're young, and
Jessica Weaver 8:11
You're working so hard.
Dr. Anita M Jackson 8:12
And then all of a sudden, bam, you hit this crisis, and you realize you don't have everything in place. And it was as difficult as it was, it was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. Because it really made me go even deeper on the spiritual, on the energetic, energetic and the practical side of money. Like really working with a financial planner and my CPA and saying, I'm not making sound wise financial decisions. I thought I was, but I'm really not because I'm not thinking long term. And within the African American cultures, or I'll even say within my family, let me just not say everybody, but within my family, that wasn't a conversation because everybody did well. So they didn't have the quote unquote, trauma that we're having right now. And and I you know, pay for school, paid for cars and always had the money, I always was very responsible with my money. So it didn't make sense that I would have this experience until I had this experience. So that trauma caused me to exert more energy to try to figure things out, which actually started to create blocks. So I had to go back inside and go, Okay, I need to forgive myself for not putting things in place originally. So that piece can get healed. And once I forgave myself, I have to also say it's okay, it's safe for me to make new decisions, and work with a financial planner like you, Jessica, and begin to make a new decision. Once that kicked in and I really allowed that to be my truth. Then things start to shift and doors started to open clients start, higher level clients started to come in, more money started to come in. And now I'm making them like, okay, money's coming in, I'm going to start making some better decisions so that my money is working for me, rather than me working so hard.
Jessica Weaver 10:11
Yes, I love that saying-Stop working for your money, let your money work for you, or let your money control you. Like, let's control our money. So it doesn't end up controlling us. You bring up so many points again, forgiving yourself. Huge piece that we all have to do. I was listening to it was a meditation earlier today. And for 10 minutes, it just repeated- I'm so sorry, I forgive you. I thank you. I love you. And at first I'm like this is silly. But then I got emotional and it was triggering and healing a lot of different pieces. So I we forget, we're so busy. We're moving from one task to the next. We're multitasking. We're doing five things at once. So we're trying to hit five year goals in three days. Right. Taking, we almost forget that we there. There's a lot of hurt and pain in us.
Dr. Anita M Jackson 11:06
Yeah, absolutely, especially around money.
Jessica Weaver 11:09
Yes. And Anita its not that you failed. It was the plan failed.
Dr. Anita M Jackson 11:15
It's not even having a plan. Let's just be honest, I didn't have a plan.
Jessica Weaver 11:19
Well, the no plan, it's a no plan plan. On the no plan plan, that it's not that you failed, but we take it on as if we did we personally wanted to hurt ourselves. No, it's and to forgive yourself for that, allow that healing,
Dr. Anita M Jackson 11:38
I think we have to be willing, I didn't mean to cut you off. But I think we have to be willing to not place it on our own sense of worth and value but place it on our behaviors. Because behavior can change, you can change your behavior you can make, which is why things changed for me, I chose to change my behavior, I made a very powerful decision. Decision, that's like my favorite word. And it means to reach a definite conclusion. And the Latin version decision means to kill off something, kill off that old way of thinking, that old way of behaving, those old procrastination patterns, because you're right, our brain functions on patterns. This is what keeps it safe. So if you were doing the same thing over and over again, in your life, you're doing it in your money, I guarantee you. And if you're doing it in your money, your money is going to have the same results. It's kind of like what Einstein said, you know, doing something different or doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result. We do it towards money all the time. Well, you just put it here and then doesn't work, because you haven't taken a step back to reassess the land. And that's what, you know, this pandemic does. So let me sit down and really look at, gosh, I wasn't making good money, I can see that I'm progressing. It's time to start taking that money and investing it the right way. Because all it was doing right now was paying bills. That's not a way to live. It's just to pay bills.
Jessica Weaver 13:09
It's hard to build wealth, when everything just go into bills. And you get stuck in that survival mode. And what you keep referring to it , it's short term focus.
Dr. Anita M Jackson 13:17
Yes, yes. Absolutely. And that's where I think we as women, because so often, women are giving their finances whatever they make, to the survival of the family. And they're not she's not even taking care of herself in nine times out of 10. I'm sure you're probably see, I know I see it all the all the time. There's not a conversation I haven't had where that has not come up where they feel guilty about using the money towards themselves. So let me give you a really powerful clue or cue in regards to guilt. Yeah. So the word guilt actually means let me ask you, what do you think guilt means? Instead of me just answering it.
Jessica Weaver 14:03
So I was recently I was recently reading one of Mel Robbins books. And I liked how she put guilt in two different ways. There's one guilt that if you feel this way, you're going to try to change your behaviors because you're taking care of how other people are feeling. But then there's this other guilt that is more destructive and it's just really a shame.
Dr. Anita M Jackson 14:23
Okay, you nailed it. So the actual definition of guilt is a feeling from committing a moral wrong. That's the number one definition of guilt. And women apply that to themselves so much like you haven't done anything morally wrong in taking care of yourself, what your feeling is shame. And that shame is such a low on the David Hawkins. Dr. David Hawkins created a consciousness scale and shame is a low level energy. So when you're thinking, I don't deserve something, I'm not good enough. I was just wrong for me to take care of myself to want to go get a massage and spend time with my girlfriends to buy that new purse. Because I'm a purseaholic, I'm the first one to admit it, or getting your nails done. I'm a nailaholic. Really, I'm a hairaholic as well, for those of you who think I'm not.
Jessica Weaver 15:21
We all have those areas we are willing to spend money on.
Dr. Anita M Jackson 15:24
No, no. Like, those are non negotiables for me, but anyways, when we feel this sense of shame. If you've been saying things like that, even just consciously, you're creating this neurological pathway which actually drops the energy of your brain, which means you can't focus. You can't concentrate, you can't process information. This is why Jessica nine times out of 10 I bet you maybe not you but maybe other financial planners, when they're working with someone, and they all of a sudden see that glazed over look in their clients, like they're looking at you, but they're really not paying attention to it. That's because shame, whether they know it or not, has kicked in about their money.
Jessica Weaver 16:05
That is so scary, we talk about this, I'm fascinated on this conversation. I love that what I feel like we're doing right now is marrying the spiritual side, along with the scientific side. And then into the practical side, ladies. Yeah, what we're doing right here. I love that there's this scientific proof and meaning behind everything that we've been talking about on the show. Yeah, on this podcast. But that's amazing what shame does to people and I do I see that glazed over look in people's eyes. And I actually I saw it the other day, when I was speaking in front of a room, it was a group, a large, very large group of a woman's organization. And I started to see it going on. And I have to think back to exactly what I was talking about at that time.
Dr. Anita M Jackson 16:49
Yeah, think think about what it was, I'm sure it had to do something about money unconsciously causes people to feel some level of shame, whether they're willing to put that word to it or not. So the minute, the minute you see that, cause them to stop, okay do me a favor, take a deep breath, have them take a deep breath. So the brain, because that's the brain's way of going into protect mode, it's going into defense mode its trying to say this is causing pain and disruption. So shut off so that you don't get hurt. That's what it's doing. It's protecting that person. So you have to which means part of the brain so long, not going to all the scientific details of it. But let's say this is your brain. And behind your brain, there's a little stem, this little stem, which is your spinal cord, releases chemicals all day long. And it has a little flap on the top that regulates how the chemicals move through your brain so that you can focus and you can concentrate. So your senses work. So your heartbeat works and blood runs through your body, keeps you alive. When you start to get into fear or anxiety or worry or doubt, that little flap that's on the spine. So here's your this is your brain, your brains about the size. And let's say this is the stem, it's about that long. There's a little flap right about here that's constantly moving, allowing chemicals to come through the moment you start to freeze that parasympathetic nervous system kicks in, and it goes click. And it actually stiffens so the chemicals don't get to the brain, because then the brain goes into fight or flight. That's what
Jessica Weaver 18:26
We've been talking about this a lot lately. I'm so glad you're bringing this up.
Dr. Anita M Jackson 18:30
So there's a real biological issue that's happening. And the way you release it is breathe, just breathe. And as soon as those chemicals get back in, they get reengaged. So if you're seeing someone you're working with going, You know what, let's go. Let's go for a walk. So now you're walking, having them walk while they're talking about it. So there's there's movement, there's oxygen, there's blood.
Jessica Weaver 18:58
All the advisors that are listening to this, money, coaches, mentors, this is huge. How about talking to your spouse?
Dr. Anita M Jackson 19:07
Girlfriend- Your husband cuts off, get him up, take him outside go for a walk.
Jessica Weaver 19:11
We know why, It's not because we're boring him when he's starting to get freaked out.
Dr. Anita M Jackson 19:18
pain. It's a defense mechanism of she's unhappy, I failed again. He may not ever say it. I failed again. I didn't do a good job. I'm not doing enough- off. Thats it, its not about him not loving you.
Jessica Weaver 19:35
We're learning so much about relationships and communication. Thinking about everything from divorce to estates, all of those high trigger conversations around money.
Dr. Anita M Jackson 19:35
I used to do it all the time. My my boss used to get upset at me because as a therapist, you know, you're keeping them in the office. And I'm like my office was near the back door and I would tell her I said listen, if I've got a client whos in trauma, I can do better if I can get them moving. So she's like, alright I'm just going to just act like you don't tell me this stuff. And I had the best results in the department because that's what I would do. I work with students, I had a private practice. And I just feel - lets go outside, huh? Let's go outside, come on. And we go for a walk, and all of a sudden, they'd get the answers they need, because the brain is actually functioning now. So your job, if you're working with someone who's having a financial problem is if you can get them to talk about the problem, you can probably hear where they're stuck. And how you can bet because honestly, within 30 minutes, people will tell exactly what they need. You just need to listen.
Jessica Weaver 20:39
And we know too when we're on the receiving end of that, and we're trying all the sudden we can't process anything anymore.
Dr. Anita M Jackson 20:45
Oh, yeah. I have a learning disability too, I have ADHD. So my brain is on fire, like when they scan it, I'm on fire 24 hours a day, seven days a week, even when I'm asleep, my brain is on fire. So it's constantly processing. So I've had to learn. Thank you. COVID, again, pandemic in a negative way, I've had to learn how to be still, I've had to learn how to meditate. I've had to learn how to be quiet. So that my inner self, my God self can bring up the answers that I need. Not that I didn't hear it before, but it's definitely much clearer now. And I'm feeling a lot safer within myself to make those decisions about what am I going to do next with money? What's the next thing and this is where I'm like, okay, so this coming year, I've got three specific plans to make money work for me. So I'm not working so hard. And they're about consistent amount of money coming in, I set that goal. And it's the first time it feels really good. I still have to do my due diligence, I need to talk to a financial planner, I need to find, you know, a CPA that can work with me as this money is coming in. Now it's time to make a better decision, because now I'm so grounded within me. I'm not operating in fear in or shall I say fear or shame. It's not that those things don't come in. I just now I'm more aware of it. And I know how to release it faster than normal. Does that make sense?
Jessica Weaver 22:13
Yes. And I want to bridge as you started to talk a little bit about calling in right, your higher self that intuition, listening to ourselves or guides. I've been talking with this with a lot of women advisors, woman clients, the intuition, a lot of them are saying, I am not very strong with my intuition. I'm not very good at the trust. But you just brought up exactly why. Because once they get triggered with the stress, we're blanking out. We're not giving ourselves the space, which you said, but holding space to meditate, to quiet everything down. Because I call I say we busy ourselves to death to avoid the real issue happening in our lives. And by being busy. We think we're being productive, but are we really being productive? No, we're not looking forward, we're still in avoidance mode. But you said it and I I feel sometimes God puts us in a timeout.
Dr. Anita M Jackson 23:11
Oh, God, you can have a whole conversation on that one. I know that story very well.
Jessica Weaver 23:21
COVID was a big time for a lot of us. Or we can choose to go put ourselves in a timeout. My kids know this because I put, I go- mommy's going in a timeout. Yeah. And they're almost more scared when I go in timeout than when I put them in timeout.
Dr. Anita M Jackson 23:36
You know, it's intuition. i It's so interesting. Because intuition, I think is really your God's self. It's the the higher part of you that knows everything as we know. And it's not that you don't trust your intuition. It's like it's a different way. It's not that you don't have intuition. That's what I'm trying to say. I think every person on this planet has intuition that already knows the answers that you need to live your best life, already has that answer for you. The problem is, you've chosen consciously or unconsciously not to trust that because it has probably asked you to do things that didn't make you feel safe. It asked you to step outside of your limitations and your comfort zone because that's usually what intuition does. It says go here, trying to get you to go this way. You're like, no, there's a lion over there. I don't know what's around that corner. No, I don't care. Right? It's too scary. So then what happens is instead of take responsibility within ourselves, saying I did that, you say I can't trust my intuition because it's not right and like, no you just chose not to listen. And since you didn't follow it through, which means if you're not following through here, there's a good chance you're not following through in some other areas of your life just as well. I promise you- patterns, everything operates in patterns, yes, seasons, days and months, your calendar, your money, everything operates in patterns. And until you figure out what those patterns are, you're probably not going to change it too much. It's like this is how PTSD develops to some degree patterns, there's been trauma over and over again.
Jessica Weaver 25:27
Yeah, and it probably getting narrower and narrower,
Dr. Anita M Jackson 25:29
Absolutely and then they get solid, they get rock solid, then your brain creates a neurological pathway. And now it's fired on that thought, or that feeling or that belief, or that emotion or that limiting belief over and over and over again, so that you now emit this energy that now attracts that experience over and over again, and you can't break until you get this conscious awareness of Hmm, this keeps happening to me, I keep hitting against the same wall, I keep attracting the same kind of man, the same kind of woman, I keep having the same kind of financial challenges. Why? That's when you connect to me, or you connect to Jessica and we both go, you ready to really do some work? It's gonna hurt a little bit, but it will get you to the other side.
Jessica Weaver 26:18
Well, it didn't. They did a study. And I would love to hear your take on this of it. There was two brains that did a brain scan. And the one brain they were making an important financial decision alone. As you can imagine, the whole brain lit up red stress, yes, fire stress fight or flight mode, right? What was the thing that she was talking about?
Dr. Anita M Jackson 26:38
Don't ask me to say the medical term, I can't even pronounce it.
Jessica Weaver 26:42
The other brain, they scan, they were making important financial decision, but with an advisor, a little little piece of their brain, a little circle was red. And that was the part of the brain that deals with math, numbers, analyzing, very analytical piece. So it's showing that that was working hard. Yeah, it was processing. But that's a huge difference. It's like do we want to be under stress whenever we're making important decisions, if we do, which we know is not going to work out for us, right. But we'll do it alone. If we don't want to be that way. It that's why we were in business. That's why we're here having this conversation. Because you don't have to make these important decisions alone and understand.
Dr. Anita M Jackson 27:24
You're not supposed to you work. I've been saying a lot this week, you were not supposed to live life or make decisions about life alone, we weren't created to be independent. Now there are some people who may have the gift of being alone, which means they're choosing to live their life that way. That's a different story. But I do not believe that we were placed on this planet to be alone. So the reason why that other person probably didn't have all those swirls of emotions going on in their brain during the time they were making that powerful decision is that they had developed an intimate safe, there's that word again, relationship with their financial planner that allowed them to help them make the best decisions for themselves compared to someone who didn't have that kind of support whatsoever.
Jessica Weaver 28:12
Yes. And this brings up too, part of your journey when we're talking about the forgiveness and then allowing yourself to get help, by giving yourself that space to forgive. And then that opens up space to bring people in to help because you don't feel so ashamed anymore. You've forgiven that.
Dr. Anita M Jackson 28:30
I think we have to we as women, so one of my topics that I see come up quite a bit is power or success. I think women need to get to the place where they're willing to give themselves permission to own their power to make a new decision anytime they want.
Jessica Weaver 28:48
Anytime
Dr. Anita M Jackson 28:49
How about we give ourselves enough permission to say I dont want that for us today, that doesn't doesn't feel my intuition, my heart, my soul, my spirit, my energy, that doesn't feel right, that doesn't feel in alignment. I'm gonna let that go and trust that. I'll give you a perfect example. I was in the process of purchasing house. And all of a sudden things start to go south. So the house of course itself is gorgeous and neato, love it, this house this house was everything I had been looking for. I've been looking for a house for about two years. I was even looking during COVID Not thinking I was going to do anything during that time. And yet finally found something. But then the company that I was working with kept changing the contract, kept changing deals just things just didn't feel right. And right before I had to sign my name on the dotted line, my something inside me said don't do it. Now everyone else would say - are you crazy? You got the best deal. You know you want a house you've been talking about this forever, why would you not do it? And I'm like, do something is telling me it doesn't feel right. I just I'm not, I don't have peace. And that has always been my plumb line. If I don't have peace about something, I'm not supposed to do it. So I cancelled the deal. Well, beautiful thing. About a month, I'd say later, I ended up buying another house with another dealer got better incentives, a better deal that gave me all the appliances that I needed, like refrigerator, a microwave, all those other things, wood floors, it was even better, even a bigger house for less money. So see, because I listened to I could change my mind whenever I want to change my mind that honored my life now making, and I'm going through that process right now. I'm going through the escrow process now.
Jessica Weaver 30:56
That intuition, and it's almost like a muscle we start to build. And thank you for sharing that story. That's a huge piece of trusting your intuition, giving yourself space to be able to trust yourself and your gut. And you said, I just point out to the listeners, there is a peace that comes with trusting your intuition. It doesn't mean it might not be scary. Right? Exciting or a risk. Overall, you still have a sense of peace of this is the right next step the right next step.
Dr. Anita M Jackson 31:28
That's such a I'm so glad you brought that up. Because how do you tell the difference between peace and scary if they're operating at the same time? Check your body, your body is going to tell you because if you're really feeling peace, then your shoulders are going to be relaxed. If you're feeling scary, they're going to be tense, defense mode.
Jessica Weaver 31:49
Oh, this is huge. As you can see, right? Your your shoulders are by your ears. Yeah, or your jaw is clenched, right.
Dr. Anita M Jackson 31:58
So when you're working with somebody, and all of a sudden, the glaze comes in, or if they're looking at you, they're nodding, and they're paying attention, but their shoulders are up. It's like an animal, when when something's happening, the ears go up, their hair on their skin goes up. That means something energetically shifting, pay attention to your body, check in with your heart, if you're breathing hard. Or if you're finding you said it perfectly, because I'm a jaw person, that's when I know something's wrong. I get locked up. Or I get migraines. Those are my signs, okay, I'm not resting. I'm not grounded, I'm disconnected from my body. Lower back pains. You know, those if none of those things that they're just give yourself a quick little massage, if it feels tender or you feel a little knot. That's stress. That means your body is not relaxed in that situation.
Jessica Weaver 32:48
Yes, stress will come out in a physical sense. It's going to let us know it's here.
Dr. Anita M Jackson 32:56
Absolutely. And then give yourself you know, thank your body, thank you for giving me signs, you're doing exactly what you're designed to do. Thank you for giving me a warning. Let me take a step back. Let me breathe. Let me ground, let me close my eyes and say what do you really want, and that first response? Follow it, because that's probably the answer.
Jessica Weaver 33:20
Oh, you've said so many amazing things today Anita. Thank you for sharing. I think all of our advisors need to listen to this. Because when we're talking with people, money is such an intimate conversation. And there's triggers, it's emotional, looking at these clues so that we can hold space for people to feel safe when we're having these conversations. So it's more productive, and we're dealing with the actual issues, not just with the surface issues and things.
Dr. Anita M Jackson 33:48
And check your own self when you're working with someone. Not only is that client, maybe having some challenges, but are you having challenges too? Because you, we mirror each other without even knowing it. So you know, if I'm sitting here like this, Jessica may start doing it all unconsciously. And then we're both sitting here kind of tense, not even knowing we're tense because of that experience. It's just it's the norm. And the only reason I could bring that up because I someone brought that to my attention. I was walking around with upraised shoulders, and I'm like, That makes so much sense. And it's taken me years to learn how to sit up straight to really release the tension of that and just allow myself to be open so things can flow in me as we intruding. Now I have a strange little desk so I have to sit kind of funky. But normally I sit straight and I've got a pretty good posture. And I really strive to keep myself as open as possible so I can, because openness is receiving. You want to receive money from your clients? Open up, open up your heart open. Watch all that energy and as you open up, they're gonna open up.
Jessica Weaver 34:56
They'll mirror you. Oh, that's beautiful. Thank for sharing all these amazing insights, the more we can understand the brain, the more powerful we we really are going to be. How can people find you? How can they follow you, learn more about you?
Dr. Anita M Jackson 35:12
Thank you so much. I'm so honored, you can always go to my website, which is www Dr. Anita M. jackson.com. Or you can find me under my name, Dr. Anita M. Jackson on LinkedIn. And you can also find me on Facebook, those are proabbly the fastest ways a part of the fastest ways to get ahold of me.
Jessica Weaver 35:27
Oh, that's fantastic. Thank you so much for being on here and sharing all these insights, strategies. It's going to improve all of our all of our exposure to wealth, to welcome it, to forgive ourselves, to ask for the help, and to be able to be better assistance to other people going through their wealth journey. So thank you for being on here with us. Thank you to all of our listeners, all our money queens, we are so grateful for you to support women behind the millions because we want you to be part of the millions, women millionaires are about 32% of the population. We need to increase that. So thank you for being here and supporting all of us.
Dr. Anita M Jackson 36:05
My pleasure, what an honor. Bye, everybody.