S1 E10- An Unlikely Path with Amanda Stilwell
Women’s Wealth Boutique and is also a Managing Partner for Clarity Financial. On this episode Amanda gets into what brought her to the financial advisor world more specifically the long-term care and hospice side of finances. They also discuss the importance of being able to ask the tough questions when it comes to this particular side of financial planning. She explains the various aspects that must be considered when discussing retirement and long term care planning with clients and their families.
Highlights:
The importance of planning when it comes to your finances
As a financial planner you have to be able to ask those tough questions
The value in clients understanding why we’re doing what we’re doing
It’s vital to know your strengths so you can help out your community
Contact our guest:
Transcript:
Jessica Weaver 00:02
Hello money queens, welcome to Women behind the millions we have with us today Amanda Stilwell, who is listen to this ladies. She's a registered social security analyst and National Social Security Advisor, certified Senior Advisor at top of the table MDRT. She's been an advisor for over a decade, dealing with insurance and helping people build out financial plans. Asset Management, she has quite a career story that I cannot wait to dive into today. So thank you so much, Amanda, for being here with us.
Amanda Stilwell 00:39
Thank you for having me. I've been excited to share.
Jessica Weaver 00:41
Yes. And you can probably tell she is from the south. She is from South Carolina. With her accent, we're so excited to bring her on to the woman's wealth boutique, her and her team at clarity financial solutions. So Amanda, what made you want to become an advisor? Let's start there.
Amanda Stilwell 01:01
Gosh, I can tell you I didn't dream about becoming an advisor. When I was a little girl, I was talking to my niece about this who's recently come to work with us. But I just listened to my inner voice. And through past experience, I was working in home health and hospice and unfortunately was called in to deal with families when they a loved one had to go home after a an illness or an injury. And they couldn't care for themselves. And so I basically sat around the table with family members and ask questions like, okay, who's going to take off Monday, who's going to take care of her on Tuesday, whose , it so you know, brother Joe, he lives in a different state, he's gotta fly in and help which days does he want. And you know, you just see a lot of frustration. They're dealing with, obviously, the emotional impact of their loved one being ill or injured. And then now the financial and their familial impact if they have young children. And I just was tired of putting out fires. So you know, through discernment and conversation and prayer, just wanted to be more of a prevention person and not a, you know, just putting band aids on things. So I realized that if I could get in front of people before these things tended to happen, I would be able to set themselves up and their families up to prevent these things, right? So to kind of smooth that smooth out that walkway through retirement preventing those potholes that people often fall into. So I landed on Medicare, just because it's simply a way it was a way for me to get in front of people, everybody has to get on it at some point in time. And then as I developed my knowledge and expertise in Medicare, long term care was next then Social Security Maximization, and then very organically, true holistic advising. It just happened. Like I said, it was just kind of I think meant to be I've found my space. And I love getting to help people just really have peace of mind as they enter into what should be a really phenomenal part of their life.
Jessica Weaver 03:30
Oh I agree with that it should be the best time of their life retirement and they've worked so hard, whether they're raising the family, their career, saving money supporting their parents, thats a point too. Some things that I take away from that story of your career is one the patience. You can't rush people when they're in that space dealing with hospice, their loved one passing. Are you a naturally patient person, Amanda? Or does that a skill that you grew doing that kind of work?
Amanda Stilwell 04:01
Yeah, I feel like that I was I've been given a God given ability to just be present with people. Take them to their edge, what their what they can get to that day, that moment, that hour, and then pause, right. Moving people through hard situations. It is a skill, it for sure is a skill, but oftentimes, they are analyzing every aspect of what if and so they become paralyzed. So analysis paralysis, right? So having the ability to walk along them, taking them being on their side of the table. I try always to be an extension of a family and not the outsider you know? I let them know what my skill my scope is, and then listen. And sometimes you do have to make decisions and say this is what I believe is best in this situation, and this is what we should do in this situation. And having the language and the confidence in my own skill set to know that that is putting the person in the best situation. And then sometimes they need the decision making taken off of them. They need someone to say here, can you just tell me what's next. So...patience.
Jessica Weaver 05:21
They feel they have to make so many tough decisions at once. I'm guessing it's a lot of reprioritizing, you said there's so much and you help them get to that edge that they can handle for that day, the power of the pause that we've said before, there's so much power behind the pause. Reprioritizing, what needs to get done, holding their hand when they need it needs to be held, but then also given them that push when they need to step up, make that decision
Amanda Stilwell 05:49
100 percent, you also have to really I think as women we're good at this, read the room, right? Know who the grounded person is, who's the decision, who's the true decision maker, it might be a different person on paper. That's true, Yeah, who the true decision maker is and lean into them a little bit. And so and the same thing goes, when we're doing planning for prevention, you have to know those things, too. So that experience for sure has helped me in my practice 100%.
Jessica Weaver 06:26
Yes. And that led me to the other point, I wanted to bring up- having the hard conversations, asking the hard questions. I recently saw somebody speak. And she was given an example of a story and she was a sports agent did the deal of the lifetime for this coach the deal the lifetime, and the next day- He goes, I can't do it. I'm not gonna do it. Shes like- we just celebrated though. We opened up the good wine, we celebrated. And she goes, You know what happened? I didn't ask him the hard questions. He was moving from college to professional and she didn't ask him, Are you mentally prepared to not walk through that stadium anymore? And looking at our work your work as an advisor, I'm sure that career beforehand also helps you to step up and not shy away from the hard questions, but to lean into them. Because if you don't ask the hard questions, then things are gonna fall apart. Or right, now you're dealing with loved ones, their emotions, their money. So I'm just curious too, do you shy away from a lot of women shy away from conflict, but sounds like you kind of step into asking those hard questions and being in those awkward, uncomfortable moments.
Amanda Stilwell 07:42
You know, I am not afraid that's right. I feel how you phrase things is everything right? How you word them, but getting the point across is the most important thing, because many times when people are saving for retirement, right? What do they do? They look at their statements, its accumulation, its accumulation, its accumulation, its hope for the best hope they have a good advisor, and then they start reaching that, you know, what we call retirement redzone in this world of finance, and they start to take it, those numbers mean more, right? And they have rarely had a conversation with their loved one about priorities, travel, health care, fears, what keeps them up at night. And so I can't tell you how many times I've said ask those hard questions and then just silence and being okay in that silence and saying- Alright, so we got some homework to do. And that's okay, you know, because this is your individual plan for what I call the distribution phase of life, right your or your legacy or just life after work. So it's very important to ask the hard questions, just like your story. Because if you don't, you know, remorse, regret, buyers, you know, who knows what's going to happen after they leave? So letting them be okay to have some homework and being okay to be in that conversation with them. Sometimes it's, it's it will be a healthier conversation when there's a buffer, you know, somebody who can hear, repeat, I hear you saying, because not everyone is skilled at communication. And at this point in time, usually when I'm involved, things have to be decisions have to be made, things have to move forward. And so they can't bury their head in the sand anymore if they've been doing that in the past. So,
Jessica Weaver 09:44
Yes, and you're right on not everybody's a great communicator, especially under grief. Or they're emotional about their money or there's a lot of fear, insecurities coming up. And what I think of when you talk about asking the hard questions too is you're getting much deeper than that surface level help. That tends to happen a lot, especially in our industry is, here's a problem, here's a product that's going to solve it. But why did the problem start in the first place? How do we prevent it from happening again? How do we heal any of those triggers, insecurities instead of them continuing on into retirement with them? So Amanda, now you you're doing that work, helping families prepare for losing their loved one. What was it like transitioning into now becoming an advisor and wanting to help prevent a lot of these issues, red flags, we see it all the time, families really are broken apart, when a loved one is lost, whether it's emotions, the money, a lot of times the money. So what was that transition like for you? How did you get started?
Amanda Stilwell 10:53
I mean, honestly, it was just my life experience, because no one was asking those questions. And so the people sitting with me, as clients, or as prospects, knew that I was coming to this from a different angle. And they had never had that experience before. I was listening to their specific fears, goals, objectives, asking about their family members, asking about their family health history, asking, you know, things that they had maybe never thought of, or had never come up in a financial discussion. So it was incredibly rewarding. That's what I'll tell you. Because my goal in all that I do, whether they become a client or not, is to leave people better than I found them, 100%. Whether it's just education, you know, maybe some some pointers, or a full on holistic plan. The clients that I have, the people that I meet, are just thankful that they're able to now this these things that have never happened to them yet, maybe they happen to the grandparent, but they never, you know, they never saw it really happening to them, when they're alive, right? So having those issues the what ifs the mights, percolate to the top, and then we have a plan. So they know they're not going to have a hiccup, it's not going to change the trajectory of their lifestyle. Because we've discussed it, we know what the plan is. And this brain, having that experience, and then having the ability to be an advisor, and watching the peace come over people when they know they're taken, going to be taken care of is it's the it's the most rewarding thing I've ever done outside of having children and you know, having a family so. People cry, I mean, I can't tell you how many tears have been shed in my office when you put the plan together that they've told you, you know, they've created you've, they've told me the problem. I've shown them the solution, I brought up the things that they don't want to think about. So now they're even feeling more secure and more protected. And then you say it's okay, you're gonna be okay, you can retire. You know, these might be some tweaks, but we're gonna walk through this together. It's a wonderful way to build a practice for sure.
Jessica Weaver 13:23
Can you sense that moment? Immediately once, like the worries kind of are shed or they're starting to build the trust the confidence over that relief? I think that's a huge wave of relief.
Amanda Stilwell 13:38
Yeah definitely, I mean its their body language. It's the way it's a couple. It's the way they look at each other.
Jessica Weaver 13:45
Sure, when they look at each other.
Amanda Stilwell 13:48
Yeah, it's like okay, so all of these things that we've been dreaming of, we can do them, you know, and maybe it is like I'm saying it's not pie in the sky, you have to have a reality check right and know what your fixed expenses are and other you know, other goals. But just to know, we've worked this hard, and now we can actually enjoy this part of our life. You know? Yes, you can definitely sense it. It's a lightness in the room. It is tears of joy, oftentimes and sometimes disbelief they're like
Jessica Weaver 14:27
I was just thinking that exact thing Yes. The disbelief, like this, almost shocked this is real? This can this can happen? Amazing.
Amanda Stilwell 14:35
I had a client, it's one of my favorite stories and she started crying in which is normal for me. I always have Kleenex in my office because it's usually, it's not a not a what if, it's a usually can happen. And she, she said So you mean to tell me that I can retire like tomorrow and I said, Well, you can, you're set we've put your income plan together, we know where the money is coming from, you know, we know what what, you know what asset drawdown we're going to do. And she said, Oh my gosh, and she looked at her husband with this like, just amazement, called me the next day and said, I, I quit my job. And she started volunteering again And she started volunteering, doing something that she's been wanting to do for 15 years, which will eventually become a part time job. But she's been chained to, right like she to a job that she's good at and made, had a great living, but she had no joy in it. So that was, that was definitely I would say, an experience that launched me just, you know, what you have that you have those people that just spur you on to do more and more and more. She I see her face still in that moment, and just saying, wow, you know, planning is so important. So often people don't even see everything all in one place. They've never really put things together and they've just been save, save, save, save, save - hope for the best.
Jessica Weaver 16:14
Yes, they're just like squirrels for winter. They're just stocking away things. But you're right, there's so many components, we have inflation, social security, pensions, retirement accounts, withdrawals, taxes, security, long term care, it goes on and on and on. But putting it all into one place, and then to be able to visualize it. We're such visual learners, especially women.
Amanda Stilwell 16:35
It's huge. And I tell them I say okay, so give me a fear. And I'm going to show you visually how that shouldn't be a concern of yours. And so I walked through that with them. And it just you can just tell their body language- was just like their shoulders get a little bit lighter, a little bit lighter, a little bit lighter. And then we're friends for life.
Jessica Weaver 16:56
Say now going back to that client. Do you see a difference in her now when you speak with her or see her?
Amanda Stilwell 17:02
She is a clarity Financial Solutions ambassador, she I think she tells everybody about us. She I've had more referrals from her than anybody and I but but I will tell you that the impact, just that few meetings had on her life were incredible. So yes, she calls me on a regular basis just to tell me I'm still retired, I'm still loving it. And I thank you so much, you know.
Jessica Weaver 17:29
You love to hear that too. You love getting those calls.
Amanda Stilwell 17:33
Anytime where we meet for reviews and stuff, she'll tell me about all the things that she's always wanted to do. Now she's able to do. And she's young, she's not even 65 yet, she retired early, so but her husband's older. And so she wanted to make sure that she has good time with him that
Jessica Weaver 17:50
And she's volunteering she's giving back like- look at the impact of a plan, it's not just impacting your life. But now she gets time with her husband, and all the people that she's impacting through her volunteering. Thats Amazing. So Amanda when people work with you, obviously, we've talked about the plan a lot. What can people expect? What are kind of those key pieces that you focus on with them?
Amanda Stilwell 18:14
Well, one thing is I do. I am what you see is what you get, there's no dog and pony show. There's no pomp and circumstance, it's just knee to knee, let's ask some questions, get to know each other. See if we're a good fit, number one. You know, really, I am going to ask more than just their risk tolerance. I'm going to ask them questions about you know, and you brought this up, we had a discussion about this earlier about not just risk but stress, you know, their stress tolerance, because even if they might be thinking that they have a higher risk tolerance, if they don't put their head on the pillow at night and feel good, something's off. So I ask questions about their family about medications they take about Medicare, ensuring that their retirement isn't erased by medical expenses is one of the really large pillars of my practice. Because medical bankruptcy is one of the number one reasons why people go bankrupt in retirement. And so if I can prevent like those dollars from going to things unnecessarily by education and preparation, then they're able to know that that vacations not going away that they've been looking forward to so I do ask a lot of questions about the medical side of of their plan. Make some suggestions to prevent those potholes that I know of right? So that gets really intimate really quick. It's you know, once I know their drugs and their health history, it just seems like people also I will tell you from an advisor perspective, when you're talking about Medicare, you have to go way deep, right? Because their premiums that they're paying for their Medicare Part B, which is the medical portion, and their prescription plan premium. You have to know their tax taxed adjustable gross income two years before, so you're already into that conversation. And it just becomes less invasive, like they just don't mind sharing anymore. So they're just more open I think. So that would be something for sure. that differentiates me.
Jessica Weaver 20:36
I just want to pause real quick there because that the Medicare premiums, those are huge shockers to people. So doing that work ahead of time, so you can mentally prepare and know what to expect to pay based on your income, these moving factors is huge. So you're not surprised. And when you said that meant medical bankruptcy, a light bulb goes off in my head, and it's so true. Those expenses just eat away at your retirement money.
Amanda Stilwell 21:03
I think about it like long term care protection and understanding where Medicare stops and Long Term Care picks up. And if you don't have long term care where your investments, your IRA, your saving all that is going to have to be depleted. If you don't if you know that and you're able to prepare for that it's almost like you're putting an insurance policy around your lifetime savings that you've worked for so long.
Jessica Weaver 21:29
There's so much security behind that plan.
Amanda Stilwell 21:31
Yes. And who wouldn't want to do that, especially if they want to leave a legacy? Right? So it's easy to do. It's not hard, and it's not expensive. A lot of people think, oh, you know, I've heard all about these horrible things. All it is is knowledge. That is another thing, I will say What people expect from me- education. I'm going to take them as far as they want to know, I'm not going to make them, you know, write a dissertation on their plan. But I want people to know why we're doing what we're doing. You know, because there's so many buzzwords out there in the world of finance, or so many radio people, and everyone has an opinion. And I want them to know, the what, the why and feel good about it. So when they're at dinner with their family or best friends and something get's brought up, they feel completely confident and know what they're doing and people can't poke holes. Because that's another I think, really important thing. A lot of people want to just say, Amanda, can you handle it? I get that a lot. Can you What should I do? Yesterday's appointment comes in and I'm like, No, I have everything prepared. And she's like, well, just whatever you think. And I'm like, no, no, no. You know, that's, that's I love that confidence in me. But I want you to understand the whys and the whats so because it is important, and I think that brings another layer of peace of mind to know to know that. So education, a deep dive on on understanding the medical side of retirement, because it's a big one. Yes, understanding how Social Security Maximization is often missed, especially when couples or ex spouses are involved. And then really focusing on a required minimum distribution strategy, and not just it's going to happen, but where's it coming from? And how do we know making sure that we have all those things that are gonna happen. And we know we have the plan in place.
Jessica Weaver 23:32
And required minimum distribution for those of you who are listening and aren't familiar. At age 72, the IRS forces you to start taking money out of certain retirement accounts, or if you inherited an IRA, so reach out to us if you have any questions regarding that. But just a little side note on it. As I said, there's so much security and groundedness by having a plan and being able to make educated decisions instead of so much emotion or fear based decisions is huge, and then guiding them along the entire time. You brought up legacy. So I'm curious, Amanda, what kind of legacy do you want to leave behind?
Amanda Stilwell 24:13
Oh Jess that's a good question. Um, like, I think the way I live my life is is through service of others, right service of my family, my community. My clients are extensions of that, too. And that is the legacy I want to like, just when people think of me, I want them to think of how I hopefully made their life better. And then I teach that to my children. I mean, they'll they always they're older, obviously, they're Mary Ashton is 20, almost 21 Samuel will be 22 in just a few days and Mason is 25. But you know, we talk a lot about when we look out into the world. Let's say we're at dinner or were shopping or something like that. I encourage them to look for people who might be hurting. You know, and just being aware of what's around you. And knowing how whatever skill set you have, mine is this, but yours is something else, how that can impact your community for good. And then put a plan together and implement it, because that's what makes the world go round. Right?
Jessica Weaver 25:27
And your boys took it to heart because they're all in the military. Right?
Amanda Stilwell 25:31
Yeah. So I have a lot from this. I have a, we are patriots for sure. I love our country. Both of my boys, it was never a discussion. It was just, they knew they were gonna. And I kind of knew that that they were going to serve. My dad was in the Navy, my grandfather was a aviator in World War Two, and it goes back and back and back and back, way back, but it's just part of what my boys have will do. My oldest is in the Air Force. And my youngest is in the army and my daughter refuses to go, but I've told her she can too. I've empowered her to let her know it's possible.
Jessica Weaver 26:13
So they really took that service to heart and looking in their environments, and how they could have the biggest impact for it. It's amazing. I want to switch gears here, Amanda, because you also have this huge other side, too. You You are a yoga teacher. You are a certified yoga teacher. What got you into yoga and how do you see it helping and benefiting your life and the people around you?
Amanda Stilwell 26:35
All right. It's an awesome question. And I'm talking to myself right now. Because as with anything when you own a business, or when you have a work life balance, right, I call it harmony, because it's not Yeah, it's harmony. It's how it all fits together. Yes. I became I've struggled with anxiety, just uncertainness, feeling not grounded. Yeah, along most of my life since I was little, I remember my first anxiety attack I had, I was like a brownie and like five years old, or six years old, something tiny. You know, nothing happened. It was just I'm very aware of my surroundings. And things make me nervous. And I don't know, I didn't know how to channel that. And I found yoga. Obviously, I'm a prayerful person. I'm a believer. So I have prayer, for sure. That grounds me, but then the deeper side of just understanding your spirit, right, your breath. And how your breath changes everything. It's how you even before this, I was grounding myself, right? So becoming clear. So that channel from my head to my heart is open. So I can hear clearly. So I started practicing when my little two who are not little anymore, were tiny. And it made such a huge impact on my life. I wanted to study deeper, I wanted to know why these poses and these exercises are this breath techniques created such a sense of peace in me and it was lasting peace. And I was able to take the yoga that I was learning off the mat into conversations and into meetings and family situations and just using that as techniques in life. So then I became certified to teach in 2012. And you know, I teach more volunteer base now just because my life my work. And also I found when I was teaching was the only time I was practicing. And that's not helping you need to have a practice. And then also, you know, teach as extra. So now, you know, I was just talking to some veteran groups, I'm happy to help them. And any of my
Jessica Weaver 29:00
Oh that will be a huge impact for them.
Amanda Stilwell 29:02
Yes, as trauma, PTSD, learning how to breathe through it. And I mean, I'll tell you, I use my breathing techniques and prayer all day, every day. It's never something that
Jessica Weaver 29:16
You are a walking practice of it. And that's what I love about yoga, how they always say it's a practice and that's how I feel. Spirituality should be, your religion, however you call it, money or everything should be a practice that we lean into we do on a daily basis, but we're never gonna perfect it.
Amanda Stilwell 29:33
No, and you and that's, that's actually the process that I love the most you're you've never arrived. You're always learning more. You're always diving deeper, right? I mean, there's never a day that I don't learn something new about finance, about legislation going on with Social Security. There's never a day that I don't learn something new about a deeper layer of myself. Why is this bothering me? Why am I feeling anxious right now and that yoga has taught me that it's okay to sit in that right? To just sit there with it and let it come up and breathe through it. And sometimes you cry, sometimes you laugh, but it's just a, it's an, it's just an amazing practice. As far as stress goes, and I do a lot of my clients will come into my office into my space into my world. And they're so uptight, right? I mean, they're just worried to death about everything. And I just want to be able to have like a magic wand and go, you know, and create this sense of peace over them. But you got to learn it, right? It's a practice, like you said,
Jessica Weaver 30:45
it is. It's interesting to me because you went into yoga, because you said, the anxiety and the uncertainties, and yet in your professional world, in your career, that's what you deal with it all day long.
Amanda Stilwell 30:58
That's interesting. It's also been a gifting of mine forever. I'm always the person people call when when you know, friends are in turmoil, whatever the situation is, right? Like so. I have that ability to be there as we were talking earlier, just to sit with people through things by
Jessica Weaver 31:16
A calming force, grounding force, where you know when to talk up, you know, when to you're just there to listen, as you were saying before reading the room, the energies, which is always so important. That's amazing. So I know, because you do seminars, you do a lot of education throughout the year. And just going into what we're talking about what the yoga, the last seminar you did, you did have the the audience, you've worked them walk them through a breathing exercise?
Amanda Stilwell 31:46
Yes. visualization. So yeah. Oh my gosh, it was so interesting. And impactful for the people that were there. You never know how people are going to take it. But I have to, you know, just have my expertise. My knowledge. I know it works for me. So let's share, right, that's the way I think about it. And yeah, so I had a it was a it was a seminar on Medicare, Social Security, retirement planning. So a lot of people are stressed, they come in with their notebooks and their pens and they're just worried they're gonna figure they're gonna find a silver bullet right in this seminar, they're gonna figure everything out. And so in the very first slide was a picture of a gentleman clearly distressed, he had his head in his hands and eyes, closed eyebrow, you know, forehead, all grimaced and stuff. And then I had them close their eyes after they saw that picture. And then I walked them through, taking deep breaths, feeling yourself in your space. And then walking into retirement with everything taken care of. You have experts on your side, you don't have to make decisions on your own. Things are laid out, buttoned up. And your only job is to live into it, lean into it. And then I had them open their eyes. And the next slide was a Husband, husband and a wife on bicycles and they had their legs out and their arms up. And they were like so excited to you know, just experience the day and breathe in the beautiful air. And that's what I want for my clients and so my first appointment after that was with a couple that came had come to that seminar. She looks at me she goes I want to be on the bicycle. How do I get on the bicycle? That is now the new dream the new standard. I want to get the bicycle maybe I have a beer or a colada in my hand too, margarita? Very good biking to the beach. No, no health issues, concerns. That's that's a great visualization. I'm sure that's going to be a regular thing you do. Going forward. It really is going to be because she was not the only person that has said something about it. And I really feel like people don't allow themselves the opportunity to visualize what they want and we know that because we practice this a lot with women's wealth boutique. But just giving people permission to visualize what it wants in their dreams, you know, and it's okay.
Jessica Weaver 34:28
So if you want more of that, ladies, reach out to Amanda. Amanda where can everybody find you? And clarity financial solutions?
Amanda Stilwell 34:36
Yep. So our website is clarity f i n solutions.com. And obviously we're on social media. So Amanda Stilwell, clarity financial solutions, women's wealth boutique, we're kind of all over the place so be looking for us. We are excited to serve. I mean, that's really the way I think about what I do is I get to serve people and I also get to make a great living doing it.
Jessica Weaver 35:04
You do it's amazing. Thank you so much for being on here. Thank you for being part of the women's wealth boutique. We're so excited to have you with the whole team at clarity financial solutions and even going back to legacy you have an all female team that you are building and investing in and that is a whole nother legacy as well getting more and more women into the financial industry. So thank you for being you, for joining us and for taking so much care and love into your work. It really does show. Please reach out to Amanda you can find her at the women's wealth boutique.com as well. And make sure to follow us on Instagram at women's wealth boutique. Thank you Amanda. Thank you to all of our listeners, our money Queens, we will see on the next woman behind the millions. Thank you.